Why Does Goal Setting Suck?
I won’t get into all the troubles with education.
But I will mention one.
The fact we still (well some people still) drill the idea of “goal setting”.
I’m partly to blame. I often use the keywords “goals, or goal setting”.
And maybe I should stop.
But I feel it’s my duty to change what that means.
I want more content about dreaming and letting go.
Start Letting Go
Something tells me this whole JKL brand is going to be more successful in the next while.
Not sure what it is.
Perhaps the ebb and flow that life always offers.
There are no specific signs, or signals.
I just feel an energy around the community that engages with the work that it’s starting to pay off.
But I think perhaps it’s because I don’t have any goals anymore
I will continue to work on it.
But that’s it.
Goals Made Me Depressed
It’s so true.
And I almost gave up on the podcast because of my goals.
Crazy right?
I hesitate to say my goals “made me depressed”.
Our minds are not that simple.
But I really really struggled in life recently and I think in many ways because I was trying to play a character.
I was setting goals like a mad man!
And if we take Jim Carey’s definition into account, then maybe I’m not too far off?
“People talk about depression all the time. The difference between depression and sadness is sadness is just from happenstance — whatever happened or didn’t happen for you, or grief, or whatever it is. Depression is your body saying F*ck You, I don’t want to be this character anymore, I don’t want to hold up this avatar that you’ve created in the world. It’s too much for me.
You should think of the word ‘depressed’ as ‘deep rest.’ Your body needs to be depressed. It needs deep rest from the character that you’ve been trying to play.”
I’ve Always Been A Joker
There’s a reason I connect with the character from Batman.
Yes I’ve represented both the Heath Ledger & Joaquin Phoenix versions on Halloween.
It’s definitely an entire essay, or book in itself.
But one of the reasons rings true right here.
I feel like I’m always wearing a mask. Pretending.
As Lewis Capaldi says, “Designed to deceive. So, tell me who you want me to be?”
Now it makes sense that I put on a front. Socially for friends, for my kids, at work, other relationships.
But I didn’t realize until very recently that the early phase of being a content creator leads to very similar feelings.
We do it with ourselves.
I created the person I was supposed to be after “X” number of years creating a podcast.
I tried to live up to what it means to be the person who owns a “successful” brand.
Why It’s Stupid To Set Goals
What happens if I fall short of my target, am I a failure?
Worse, what happens if I do hit it, could I have done better?
Now some will argue (20 years ago I would have) that you won’t achieve a goal, unless you set the intention.
And maybe there’s some truth to that.
But my question would be, who cares?
I simply want to make everything better.
And I have many things that I would love to achieve.
Universe willing, I will accomplish many of them.
Like writing books, being stronger, healthier and improving as a parent, coach, teacher, friend and husband.
Making the podcast better. Making this newsletter more impactful, fun and helpful.
Are those goals?
Maybe.
But don’t reply with a worksheet that helps me make them specific, measurable, realistic, or timed anytime soon please.
I want to be surprised by all of the twists and turns.
I want to be excited by the developments, opportunities and wonder that comes from my efforts to improve.
What To Do Instead
Stay still.
And let go.
Live in the moment.
If anything, pick a wild dream.
Some crazy, unrealistic pursuit and just work away at it.
Now I’m sharing ideas from a lot of other people today, but I absolutely love how Kobe explains his mindset when it comes to ideas and creativity.
“I dream. I just dream. And then instead of looking up at the mountain, I put one foot in front of the other. And I stay still. Because the negative emotions, the ups and downs, those will swirl around you. They’ll come and go, if you commit to staying still.”
And the way to stay still?
Simply take helpful actions. Next steps.
Just commit to a current practice.
Whatever the thing is, just do it.
Huh, maybe Nike really did have the best slogan all along.
